So, you’re planning your wedding…. you’ve got 12547879 ideas for your perfect day, and you’ve lost your social life to Pinterest!
It’s very easy (believe me!) to overthink things when it comes to your wedding day, after all, it’s the most important day of your life, and you’ve probably been planning it since you were 5.
I learnt a lot about weddings, after planning my own. So here’s a list of 5 things that I stressed about, and why I didn’t need to.
1. Handcrafting everything.
Okay so, I admit, I wanted to do most of the decorations
by hand, and I did manage to do most of them myself…. but I stressed SO much about getting every tiny little detail right, putting colour coordinating lace round every single recycled jar; which I spent weeks trying to get the sticky stuff off (by the way, the perfect formula for that is – Oil, Cif and a scouring pad. You’re welcome). I thought it would be nice to have handmade decorations on the day, but to be honest, I don’t think anyone would have noticed if all 100 of my jars didn’t have fancy lace round. To be fair...I don’t even remember seeing them on the day, I was so busy getting married. So something cheap would have saved me months, and a whole lot of stress.
2. The wedding night.
I faffed a lot about the hotel room being perfect, champagne being in there for our arrival, flowers on the bed etc. When in reality, arriving there was a bit foggy as we were both quite drunk, we were tired, we needed to sleep, the last thing on our minds was champagne or any other kind of wedding night actives.
The one thing I WOULD stress though, is remember to pack normal clothes for the day after the wedding. I was so excited about the wedding, I forgot that I’d need to go to breakfast the next day, that was amusing, not so much for me…. as I staggered to breakfast in my wedding shoes and gown. Also, I forgot to take a hairbrush, so I looked like Ursula after I took all of the pins out of my hair. So packing a bag is essential.
3. The first dance.
Oh, how I remember the stress of choosing a first dance song, the thought of all the eyes on us, dancing in front of everyone – my worst nightmare. I worried about that so much, and actually, it wasn’t so bad at all. Everyone had consumed plenty of wine, the lights were dimmed, and I disappeared into our own little bubble. It was actually really lovely, and a really memorable point of the day for us. Maybe not for everyone else…. because our first dance was a song from a video game we both love, so no one else had a clue what the weird soundtrack was all about. But we loved it. And in the end, that’s what matters.
I remember writing down multiple time schedules and running orders for the day ahead. Listing every tiny detail, what time we would go for pictures & how long for, what time the band would sound check, what time we would make our entrance at the wedding breakfast, when our first dance was, when we cut the cake, even TOILET BREAKS! (I kid you not). It’s safe to say – I’m a control freak. And I wanted to know that everything would run smoothly, and without a hitch. But if you’ve hired a good venue, they will have someone to worry about all of that stuff for you. And if you’re having a marquee wedding, or it’s in a village hall etc. just give your lists to the best man or maid of honour (or someone you trust). They can deal with it for you, and delegate where’s needed. On my wedding day, the lady who ran the venue took charge of everything. She was amazing. Everything flowed seamlessly, and I all my worrying was for nothing. So ask your venue if they’ve got someone who looks after the schedule for the day, pass over your notes, and enjoy the day without worrying about everyone else. ☺
5. Setting up the venue.
So this was probably my biggest stress, of the whole wedding planning experience. Because I wasn’t able to dress the venue the night before the wedding (because there was another wedding happening the day before), I had to hand over 3 years of planning and preparation….to a man. Which, I can tell you, was the most nerve-racking thing, I’ve ever done. And it’s not that I don’t trust my darling husband, but when he asked, “Does it really matter if all the table runners are pointing the same way?” my heart nearly jumped out of my mouth and fell on the floor. After the realization kicked in, that I was letting my husband to be, set up the wedding venue I’d planned in such detail…I went into panic mode. I put post-it notes on EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. Notes which told him exactly where to put things, how to place them, I drew diagrams of how I wanted the tables to be set, and drew a blueprint out of the room. I printed out copies and spare copies of the table plans and their positions…. I was literally, like Monica from ‘Friends’.
It turns out, I had no reason to worry at all. The venue looked just as I’d always dreamed, everything was where I imagined it to be, and all my worries were washed away (with champagne, mostly).
He had done a great job, with the help of his best men, and the venue staff. And honestly, even if he had done it differently, it wouldn’t have mattered on the day, the little details weren’t important. I know it’s cliché, but all that matters on your wedding day, is that you’ve married the person you love most in the world, people you love surround you, and you breathe in every single moment, because it’s over so quickly.
One last piece of advice – make a little time to spend with your new husband/wife. Away from the photographer, away from guests, and just be together, on your own. The day passes so quickly and you’re both so busy greeting and talking to everyone else; having a little time just for you two will be so treasured. ☺